walking away

Return to Innocence

Posted on Posted in Clarity, Visualization

“Just look into your heart my friend that will be return to yourself, the return to innocence.” ~Engima

This particular blog post has been begging to be written for a while, blocking the way of writing anything else that didn’t feel as personally meaningful.  It’s a post about discovering my authentic self and taking one of the biggest leaps I’ve ever took to truly honor the song I was meant to sing.

Years ago I was attracted to this whimsical song by the group Enigma, titled “The Return to Innocence.”  I don’t think I really understood the song in its entirety, but it spoke to my soul in a way that was undeniably electric.  Listening to it again I connect more deeply than ever to the lyrics that have driven my most recent decision, “just look into your heart my friend that will be return to yourself, the return to innocence,” that being to leave the corporate world and start designing a business that allows me to help others remove barriers from their lives and develop a path to live authentic and fulfilling lives.

This decision and dream has been in my heart since I was 24.  I had been denying its realization due to doubt and the practicalities of life.  Yet, as luck would have it, my preparation met opportunity, in the words of the great philosopher, Seneca.   After years of saving, reading many books on the subject of life coaching and connecting to purpose and a generous company option, I’m able to follow my dream and meet my basic needs.

This new path is by no means well laid out or entirely planned, but I feel confident that I can find the pieces to put it together as I further explore it.  It’s a strange feeling to move forward in life without a well-defined plan, with milestones to meet at each interval.  It requires a different kind of confidence in your capability that I’m still learning to build.

Concurrently this decision has allowed me to connect back to what it felt like to be a child, unaware of all the obstacles there may be to doing something you love.  I believe people enjoy the experience of having children so deeply because it connects them back to their own innocence.  It reminds us all of what it was like before we fully digested and absorbed the “rules” of being an adult and meeting our needs.

As adults, we often forget to give ourselves the same grace as we give to youth.  We trap ourselves in outdated rules and beliefs that steal our joy, never questioning the plan.  Yet, creativity and remaining open to new life solutions can offer a new innocence that many never dare to approach.  Well I’m walking right up to the approach and jumping in the pool, not sure how deep it may get or what temperature the water is.

I have never been known to be daring or spontaneous, so this creative solution to meeting my needs through doing work I guide, is out of character.  What I have been charged with is being blindly idealistic and that is the force that propels me to be crazy enough to chase a dream.

Right now I reside in the transitional phase, not yet starting my new journey, wrapping things up in this last chapter through September.  It’s a calm place to inhabit, yet restless in that I feel as though I live in two worlds, neither of which I belong to.  I currently live in the space of staring at a blank canvas where the options are equally exhilarating and intimidating.  I’m curious to see what develops; knowing that regardless of the result, the jump is worth facing the unknown.

The universe has an amazing way of cooperating with you when you have a dream in your heart.  The dream may feel totally impractical, but as you gain a deeper understanding of your true values and live in accordance with them, the dream can be realized with serendipitous means.

What dreams are you denying?  What innocence do you wish you could have back to follow them?  What is stopping you?  Are you living in accordance with your values, enabling the means for this dream to come available?