Keeping Pain Clean

Posted on Posted in FOCUS on the NOW, Organization

This week has created a myriad of opportunities for me to deepen my grounding in inside-out coaching.  From colds to cold-calling, it’s been a doozy.  Yet, as my new grounding has continued to teach me, it’s not the situation that causes the pain, it’s the story that you tell yourself about your life that results in the discomfort you feel.

Alas, the story of my week…

Following up on a vendor show at Duke Energy on Saturday, I promptly called the folks I connected with as “leads” for Wildtree Freezer meal party hosts Sunday afternoon.  Not surprisingly, all my calls went straight to voice-mails and although I kept my phone by me for the remainder of the day, no callbacks.  Perhaps this was warm calling, rather than cold calling because I had met these folks already, but it scared me to call nonetheless.  Hence, I welcomed the voicemail interaction, but also knew it would never lead to anything.  I do truly love the amazing products that Wildtree has to offer, yet this experience was painful because I realized I really don’t enjoy pushing people to do things they would rather not do or pissing them off when I call, finally getting a live connection and they’re picking their kids up at daycare in the middle of a snowstorm and slam the phone down.

Next, enter in a ridiculously debilitating cold, coupled with a runny nose, requiring continuous use of Puffs nasal insertion to stop fluid flow, despite a cocktail of drugs to stop cold symptoms.  When I woke up Monday, I felt like my face had been hit by a Mac truck, fortunately I was able to work from home and take in fluids at maximum dosages.  Every time I get a cold I am amazed how I accomplish a normal day’s work and responsibilities because feeling healthy seems light years away.  Thankfully, Zicam saved the day and my nose is operating independently now!

Finally, this week I decided to stick to my goal of 100% of my lunches coming from home and decreasing my meat intake.  I had been contemplating this goal for a while, but decided to stick to it as I reviewed the budget for the month and knew that this would be one action I could take to meet our goals for the month.  Ryan and I have some pretty lofty traveling and construction goals later this year that will require an investment not easily met with our normal habits.  Bring on the rice and beans, recipe here (add salsa & rice to the dish).  I actually love rice and beans, but after a few days it can get old, unless you’re committed to a goal or can’t taste because you are stuffed up:).

My intent in sharing these grumbles, is not to be a complainypants, but rather to tell you how I felt during the down times, while keeping my new grounding in check.  I felt content and amused; I knew that it was all temporary stuff floating across my radar.  Getting the phone slammed down on me and eating the same thing days in a row were experiments that provided more information about how to go forward in a better way.  That said, there was pain, I sort of felt like crying for a minute when the lady slammed down the phone.  Yet, I remembered the words of Martha Beck, “clean pain” lasts for about 90 seconds, dirty pain can last for years of you let it.  If I wanted to turn my pain dirty, I could lament about how I will never be a good influencer, why do I even try things?

To quote another favorite author, to make things a problem, you need to:

  1. Compare it to how things used to be and decide they should be that way again, even though they aren’t.
  2. Compare it to how you would like it to be and decide it should be that way now, even though it’s not.

~Micheal Neill Feel Happy Now

This weekend, ask yourself what problems you are creating stories around that are impacting your happiness in a negative way.  Are you holding on to the pain of it too long, thereby creating dirty pain that only serves to steal your joy?


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