surrender to pain

Balancing the Need for Control with Surrender

Posted on Posted in Fear Dissolving, Learning

Waking up each day we all start with a list of to-do’s in our head and typically a worry in our mind about some particular issue of the day.  This is considered to be commonplace in our quest to not feel pain or sorrow.

Yet, according to famous author, Michael Singer, all of our fear stems from our resistance to accepting pain and once we surrender to the pain and let it flow through us, we are no longer imprisoned by our own fear.

Reading that line struck a chord with me this week.  As a practical person to a fault, I try to do everything I can to control my circumstances and ensure I will have success in each endeavor.

As a wealth and business coach, my days are filled with content creation to help people methodically create businesses and financial foundations that support their dreams.  The people I work with understand that trial and error is part of the process, yet common to us all is the fear that, maybe this won’t work out, perhaps this isn’t the right business/strategy/tactic for me.

These thoughts slowly strip away our motivation to put increased effort into our goals and financially invest into what we need to in order to achieve them.  Moreover, problems and obstacles start to feel insurmountable and provide ample evidence that perhaps we should instead go down the path of comfort and stop stretching ourselves.

Yet, if we took a step back and internalized the line that Michael shared, we wouldn’t let this anxiety overcome us and rip away at the healthy mindset we’ve crafted in our journey toward realizing our dreams.

What if we allowed ourselves to be ok with feeling pain?  What if we felt the pain and it really wasn’t that bad?

What if we felt the pain, let it flow through us and then realized it was actually easier to feel it rather than living in fear all the time?

If we truly allowed ourselves to surrender to the pain and accept it as it comes, we would see life for what it is.  Purely a ball of clay, a board game and/or a canvas ready to receive our self-expression and bear witness to our own uniqueness.  Seeing life as not one big set of problems you alone need to solve, but as a chance to engage in this wonderful experience of being alive.

As an example, this past week I learned how to create and executed my first Facebook Ad for my upcoming webinars on moving beyond your money fears on 5/9 or 5/10 (links are for those who are interested).  That said, after roughly 5 days of running the add I received exactly “1” opt-in.

Even if you’re not familiar with Facebook Ad performance, it doesn’t take an expert to see that this “trial” hasn’t been amazing.  It hurts to see it not explode, because a piece of myself and my work is in that Ad copy.

Yet, it’s just part of the game I am trying to play and I’m learning.  I’m finding that I need more guidance in certain areas and that I can handle the pain of not being perfect or knowing the exact “way” to market.  Concurrently, I am building my own character and finding out who I really am.

This is part of the uniqueness that the universe wants us to explore.  Nothing about fear serves us in the purpose of becoming more of who we are and who others need us to be to experience our gifts.

If you are not pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and taking chances to grow, why not?  What is holding you back from the mystery of designing a life that uniquely suits you and allows for your individuality?

Find time this week to let surrender run through your body when you feel a fear coming on.  Sit with the fact that you have gone through painful things in the past and have come through to the other side with more wisdom than before.  What is the harm in surrendering to this fear and knowing that you can feel pain and still feel good on the other side?

Interested in learning more about how to decrease your money fears and live a life you love, earning what you deserve?

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